


Love Me Once, Love Me Forever

by talonyth



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward proposals, Character Study, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Post-Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), S-Support (Fire Emblem), but i am trying my best, byleth is a glutton and the reason the army is starving, byleth is also a sassy professor, constantly blushy dimitri, i am still terrible at tagging, lots of reports, nightly talks, they help each other cope with their respective trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 02:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: Byleth likes to work at night but so does Dimitri and they realize they finally have time to talk alone for a while.





	Love Me Once, Love Me Forever

**Author's Note:**

> well, this is the first time i am using my fire emblem pseud to post something. anyway, before you start reading this, **this is roughly happening around chapter 18 or 19 of the blue lion route** so if you haven't played it yet or don't want to have anything spoiled, no matter how minor, then please check this fic out after you played it! 
> 
> fyi this byleth is the kind i had imagined during my playthrough since, being a silent protag, i felt like i could make him out to be what i would like him to be. in the end, forgive me for any grammar or spelling mistakes but somehow, i just wanted to get this out of my system. i hope you will enjoy it!

Two more reports, Byleth told himself. Two more reports, and he was finished for the day. He preferred to collect their findings on paper, just in case his memory would give out again. Although it hadn’t happened for a good while, the fear of it still left its marks. 

This fear had only really developed after joining the monastery as a teacher but that was precisely what troubled him. His life before that? It was a blur. The only moments he could remember were those he spent with his father by his side but when he was left alone? Fog. Nothing came to him. He couldn’t even remember being called Ashen Demon in his life before - Hanneman had to tell him about that. 

No age, no places, no whereabouts - at best he could remember some of his father’s stories although he had never been the type to share many. Byleth wished he had kept a diary when he’d been younger but it never occurred to him why he might need one. These days, he did, and aside from a very empty time of five years, it was mostly filled with… nonsense. So he felt at first. 

But the longer he wrote his memories down, the more precious they became. And though war reports were not exactly joyous, they were still a reassurance that, even if he would fail to remember, he at the very least would be able to recall. 

“Professor. You are still here?”

Byleth looked up. Dimitri was standing in the doorframe, for a change without cloak or cape to broaden his shape. Although time surely left its marks on him, in that very moment, he didn’t look so very different from how he used to be. Less of a king and more of a… lost boy. 

“I am,” he said, gesturing at the scrolls scattered along the tables. “I wanted to collect this week’s reports and findings in one document. With reinforcements from the eastern Lords of Faerghus as well as the Alliance Lords, there is more planning to do than a few months ago although it undoubtedly also looks much better for us than it used to because of that.”

Dimitri nodded, closing the door behind himself as he entered the room. The Cardinal’s room had always gone past Byleth during the times when he was a teacher. He never saw reason in entering it, and most of the time admittingly forgot it existed in the first place. It was odd how familiar it was to him now as he spent more time here than anywhere else (dining hall aside, strategizing made him incredibly hungry). 

“That is very true, and in no small parts, it is thanks to you that we have come so far,” Dimitri said. He took a seat next to Byleth, glancing at the papers scattered about. “Still, that is precisely why you should allow yourself some rest.”

“Sound advice,” Byleth replied, returning his attention to the reports instead of the way the candles’ dim light smoothed Dimitri’s expression more than necessary. “But none I wish to hear from you. When was the last time you slept?”

“Oh, well.” Dimitri paused. “I did sleep.”

“Through the night?”

“Details, Professor. Details,” he chuckled before his smile was replaced by more somber expression. “I have five years to recuperate. If I spent my time sleeping, I won’t be able to make up for the time I have lost.”

“You seem to forget that I very much lost five years as well,” Byleth replied. “So this discussion has reached an impasse, I am afraid. I know that I will not yield and neither will you.”

“Right as ever.” Dimitri smiled, then, and Byleth wished he hadn’t peeked to see his expression change. 

It had been hard to look at Dimitri, harder even knowing that he hadn’t been able to do anything to alleviate his pain. Even if he tried, Byleth hadn’t been able to get through to him. And it was a truth that haunted him. Had he been more careful, had he been more mindful, had he listened to Rhea… If, whens and buts. 

Perhaps even his presence wouldn’t have changed anything. He couldn’t know that now so he figured that thinking of what might have been was not going to make the situation any better. If anything, it would only hurt more. 

“Is something the matter, Professor?” Dimitri asked. Only then Byleth realized that he had not only peeked - he had ended up staring at Dimitri. “Is there something on my face?”

“I…” Byleth set the quill aside. “I missed seeing you like this, I suppose.”

Dimitri averted his gaze. Though the lights were not bright enough for such details, Byleth imagined a flash of red before Dimitri covered his face in his hands. “That… I am sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

Dimitri stayed quiet. For one moment, at the very least, before he said, “For everything. I- I know I have been terrible company the past months. Frankly, I am not entirely certain what possessed you to stand by me during that time. Even though I told you to leave me be, even though I wanted none of you to stay close to me, you still…”

“I will not say it was easy,” Byleth admitted. He leant back into his chair, Dimitri’s expression still hidden from his sight. “Though the difficult part was not the decision whether to side with you or not. It was seeing you torment yourself. You have done a great amount of despicable things, Dimitri. And there will be people that will not be able to forgive you. It is a consequence you must bear. But I know that you will. And I know that you are aware of this, better than anyone else, in fact. I never doubted that, one day, our words would reach you again.”

“Why?” A hollow laugh escaped Dimitri. “I gave you no reason to believe in me. I… gave you nothing, in fact, aside from worries. And threats.”

“See,” Byleth mused, “I was like that as well. I don’t remember it well but when I was younger, there was a time when I would not speak to my father. And no matter what he did, I could not speak to him. Even though he knew something was wrong, and I wanted to reach out to him, I could not. During the past few months, I tried to figure out why I did that. Father was the only one who understood me so he was the only person I would talk to, and even then, my words were scarce.”

“That is hard to imagine anymore…” Dimitri said, his stance slowly relaxing. He unfurled his arms although he still avoided Byleth’s gaze. “Although, I do see how that used to be your nature. You were like that when we first met. It was hard to tell what you were thinking.”

“As a general rule of thumb, I was usually thinking about food,” Byleth chuckled. “I was always hungry.”

“You still are.” Dimitri grinned. “You are the only one who can eat seven servings.”

“Being blessed by the goddess is a lot of effort, Dimitri. This is no joke,” he said grimly although he couldn’t help but curl his lips into a smile. “I do try to hold back in times of war, though.”

“That would mean you would usually eat even more.” Dimitri glanced at Byleth. “Wait, you mean that.”

“I do. But that was not the point I was trying to make.” He crossed his arms and leant them onto the table. “I shut Father out during that time so not even he would be able to understand me. I wanted to be left alone. Do you know when that happened?”

Dimitri shook his head. 

“Shortly after I killed for the first time. I don’t remember the fight itself. I don’t remember the person I struck down either. And it took me a while to recall that had happened at all. But when it did, I refused to let anyone close. Even so, I still continued to work as a mercenary. I still continued to kill. I knew I had to. The memories of that time only came back once I saw you, though.”

“It was hardly my first time taking a life, Professor,” Dimitri said quietly. 

“I know. But it is not the circumstance that matters in this. It is your reaction to it. You sought to be left alone, you sought to be abandoned, even. Because you thought of yourself as a monster. Perhaps, you still do. You had become reckless over those five years, with little regard to your own life as long as you could see your goal through. So have I, back then. Did Hanneman ever tell you what they used to call me when I was still a mercenary?”

“I cannot say I have. I was not aware you had one at all.” 

“The Ashen Demon. Because I killed without regard, without emotion, without questions. I was no longer human in their eyes, and perhaps they were right to think so. The truth is that, unlike you, I cannot recall a single face. When I hear those stories, I cannot picture myself as the monster they speak of. Don’t you believe that makes me a worse monster than you are?” 

Byleth didn’t want to know Dimitri’s reply. He hadn’t spoken of this to anyone before. Had never seen a reason for it. Especially when it felt like a life so distant from his own. 

“I… would never think that of you,” Dimitri answered eventually. Again, he turned his gaze away. 

“Why? If you consider yourself a monster for slaughter, then so am I. At the very least, you felt something. Even if it was pure rage. I did not. Or if I did, I can no longer remember it. Regardless, it does not change the fact that my hands are stained with blood as well. Revenge, money, neither reason is noble enough to excuse our actions. In fact, there is no excuse for taking another life. The sin stays the same, no matter the reason. Justified or not. Reasonable or not. A life taken is a life taken. And it is up to those who take it to live with the weight of that guilt, in whatever way that is.”

“Then… you… stayed because you understood?”

“In many more words said, but yes. I did. Although the circumstances were different, I knew the reason why you were so distant. I also knew that if you overstepped your boundaries, I would hold you back. At the cost of my own life, if necessary.”

“Professor!”

“If it had woken you up, it would have been a sacrifice worth making,” Byleth said. “Although I cannot refute that I am glad I am able to witness the change you will bring.”

“I… Had I… taken your life, I… I could never have…”

“Perhaps so. Or perhaps you could have. Grief makes you blind, Dimitri. I know that. Grief, rage, disappointment. Loneliness above all. A heart is not meant to bear such emotions for such a long time, and I know that despite having none.”

Dimitri opened his mouth, then closed it. Then, he opened it again, and in a rapid succession, this happened thrice before he asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“Emotions like rage are supposed to be impulsive or else they eat you alive. Grief, that is something everlasting but it gets easier. It should. But it never did for you.”

“I…” Dimitri faltered. The crease on his forehead only got deeper as he tried to find the right words but he failed, and the turmoil between sharing his feelings and keeping quiet was so evident on Dimitri’s face that it was hard not to point it out. 

It was not that Dimitri was unwilling to trust him with these feelings. The more likely cause of this inner unrest was… fear. The same kind of fear that kept Byleth to share his own story, the bits and pieces he did remember.

“I truly did pick up Hanneman’s habit of lengthy speeches, haven’t I?” Byleth chuckled when the silence became unbearable. 

Dimitri looked up, dumbfounded. He looked so young in that very moment that it hurt - memories, again, although Byleth knew now that Dimitri had been as riddled with guilt and anger back then as well. 

“You do speak much more than you used to,” he agreed. “But I find I quite like that. There is so much insight that you give, so much for me to think of when you speak. I feel understood when you reach out to me, Professor. Although…” He smiled wryly. “In greater parts it is simply because I enjoy the sound of your voice. It soothes me so…. don’t stop. Please.”

“Even when I reprimand you?” 

“Perhaps especially then,” Dimitri said, rubbing his neck. “You have never been afraid of me. No matter what I said, no matter how terrible I was towards you, towards everyone else… I know what some soldiers say about me. They would not dare to speak against me out of fear what I might do but I hate that I became such a person.”

“You always were the one saying you would prefer for everyone to call you by your name, and not your title. That part of you still has not changed.” 

Dimitri shrugged, furrowing his eyebrows. It was pleasant to see his face switch expressions and show emotions so openly again. The fear that Dimitri would one day end up like him, emotionless and careless, without memories because he would no longer want to bear the brunt of it all - it had always been pointless, Byleth knew. Because they were not the same. They’d never been.

And yet, the image of Dimitri, distant and detached from the world and everyone around him, was burned into his mind. He swore he would never let it come so far again. Sworn it to Rodrigue and to himself. 

“Speaking of which, lately Gilbert has been trying to call me ‘Your Majesty’. I tried to explain to him that I would prefer it if he would not do that since I am not officially crowned king yet but he is a stubborn man. No matter what I said, I could not make him change his mind,” Dimitri explained. “What do you think I should do?”

“I wonder,” Byleth said. “There is not much to be done. Besides, official or not, you are our king.”

“Not you too, Professor,” Dimitri groaned. 

“Alright, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri huffed, burying his face in his palms yet again with an exasperated noise. 

It was easy to rile him up, had always been. Knowing that despite everything, he was still the same at heart eased Byleth’s mind. He’d feared, feared, feared. It was an unusual feeling when he couldn’t remember knowing fear at all. These days, everything scared him. 

To forget what he cherished, to lose what he loved, to destroy what he had built up. 

It was all a consequence of his emotions but he still felt out of his depth, even years later. It overwhelmed him more often than not. 

“Have mercy, Professor,” Dimitri whined, “It is late and I- Oh.” He dropped his hands from his face. “I remembered I came here for a reason.”

“Oh? You were surprised to see me here so I would not assume it was to pay me a visit.” Unfortunately. That had changed too. Byleth’s feelings became more and more unreasonable with every passing day. If he weren’t appreciating them so much (even the negative feelings), he would have been annoyed by them. But as such he preferred feeling too much over not feeling anything at all. 

“No, although I always hope to see you,” he answered with a smile. 

That was it. The unreasonable feeling. Every time Dimitri said something like that, it grew. It had started with the first smile when Byleth had decided to become his house teacher and it would not stop. 

“I was hoping to relieve you of some of your work by compiling the reports you have there. But… I suppose you did take care of those.”

“Mind your own business, Your Majesty,” Byleth teased, delighted when Dimitri exhaled yet another time in sheer vexation. “You have more than enough work without also taking care of mine. Besides, I do lead the war councils so it makes more sense for me to compile these and make an overall report of them. Please rest assured.”

“But you…” Dimitri crossed his arms. “You do so much. I want to help. I… Professor-”

Byleth raised his hand, and surprisingly, Dimitri halted his thought. He was no longer his teacher, and clearly, Byleth had no authority over a future king and yet, this still worked.

“You have your duties, Dimitri. I have mine. As your adjutant-”

“General.”

“As your adjutant,” Byleth continued, “It falls to me to keep you and the army both updated on what is happening. Besides, you might find it odd but I think it quite relaxing to sit here in the quiet of the night. It helps me regain my focus, even after a stressful day, and with the influx of good news, it is more hopeful than ever to read through these.”

“Is that so…”

“It is. Besides, it is not only reports I finish here. I reply to the letters from the council box, I look for new recipes, I read up on history. I enjoy myself a great deal.” 

“I must have disturbed you, then… I am sorry, Professor.”

“Please, for the love of Sothis, stop apologizing.” 

“But-”

“Enough.” Byleth rubbed his hand over his face. “You needn’t burden yourself with everything alone anymore. Those times are over. And they will never return. Focus on your tasks as a future king. Focus on the end of the war. Focus on what you will do after. On what you have to do in order to make the world a kinder place. You owe it to those who fell to build a better future. We all do, bloodstained hands or not.”

A long silence followed but this time, Byleth didn’t interrupt it. He returned to his reports, waiting for Dimitri’s response. It was hard to speak of it, he imagined, harder even to collect his thoughts when he had been blinded for the longest time. 

“Professor, may I ask a question?”

Byleth met Dimitri’s gaze without blinking. “Of course.”

“Have you… um, do you know what you will do? After the war is over, I mean.”

“I have not had much time to consider,” Byleth admitted with a shrug. He jutted the last two points of the report down and changed to the next. “In case we do not find Rhea, I assume I will have to take her place.”

“As archbishop?” Dimitri asked incredulously. 

“Technically, I already am precisely that,” Byleth added. “Not the kind of future I imagined, though, I will admit. But I promised so it would not do to break it.” 

“I never took you for particularly… devout. I mean, to a certain extent, I suppose but…” 

“I am not devout. I don’t pray to the goddess. I _am_ the goddess. So… it would be awfully vain of me to pray to myself, no?”

Dimitri did the same motion of before again, mouth flapping open and close like a fish before deciding to say nothing at all. He surely did want to say something but it would either be seen as blasphemy, Byleth assumed, or it was simply incomprehensible. 

“Do you believe in the goddess?”

“I lost my faith long ago although it might be frivolous of me to say so when Faerghus is called ‘The Holy Kingdom’,” Dimitri admitted. “But I can settle for believing in you. That would work for me.”

Byleth wasn’t quite sure what to reply but he didn’t need to think when his mouth made noises he hadn’t controlled yet. That was very much a snort followed by bellowing laughter, and he very much could not remember when he last cried tears laughing as much. 

Had he ever? 

“Wh- Professor, that- It was no joke! Stop laughing, I beg of you!” Dimitri huffed, back to his exasperated sighs. This time, he was positively blushing. “I meant it, you know.”

“I do,” Byleth snorted, “It… simply struck me as so amusing. I imagined you praying to me, and I could not help myself.” He wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes with a last huff. “How in the world can you say such things with a straight face, Your Majesty?”

“I was not aware I said something awkward, Your Grace.”

Byleth froze, narrowing his eyes. A smug grin was draped on Dimitri’s face. “You stop calling me YOur Majesty, and I stop calling you Your Grace, Professor.”

“Who taught you this? Was it Sylvain?”

“Maybe.” Dimitri shrugged. “What will it be?”

Byleth waved him off, not missing the satisfied chuckle Dimitri rewarded him with. 

“Still, I have hopes that we find Rhea in Enbarr. If she returns, would you still stay here? As a professor?”

“I am not sure about that, in fact,” Byleth admitted. He leant closer to Dimitri, raising an eyebrow. “You ask as though you have plans for me.”

“Not plans, really… more of a suggestion,” Dimitri explained. 

Byleth pushed his work aside. He could do the rest in the morning. It was only one more report, and he was truly more interested in what Dimitri had to say. Now that he sought out conversation again, Byleth knew to appreciate his presence more than ever. “Continue.”

“I was wondering if you would like to join me in Fhirdiad. As my advisor,” Dimitri asked. “Your guidance has always helped me, and I believe that, with your assistance, I could truly be the kind of king my father would be proud of. Besides… we do need someone to instruct the knights. Gilbert has already agreed to resume his duty but Annette would have my head if I overworked her father.”

Byleth hummed in contemplation. It was a good offer, objectively speaking. What swayed him most to prefer this option was much simpler, though. He had never considered a future where he would not be by Dimitri’s side. Perhaps it was also reason as to why he never gave up on the prince, a much more selfish and twisted reason than Byleth had let on.

The first deliberate choice of his life had been Dimitri and the Blue Lions. Ever since, his emotions had returned, his thoughts, his memories. He had found a purpose thanks to them.

He had started to live. 

If he were to choose a future that separated him from them, then… what would become of him? Byleth wondered about this ever so often lately. He never found a satisfying answer, no matter how much he thought of it. 

“She surely would,” he eventually said. “And your head is better on your shoulders than off it.”

Dimitri sat up and straightened his back. “Is that a yes?”

“It is a ‘Let’s focus on winning the war first’.” 

The prince deflated.

“But in theory, yes. It is a yes. To think that I go from a mercenary to professor to leader of an army… and then to royal advisor after the war… I sure had a turbulent life so far.”

“Oh, you cannot make a list of achievements and leave out the goddess part,” Dimitri added.

“Right,” Byleth mused. “Professor Goddess Advisor Eisner. A good name.”

“We could think of a shorter title for you if you would like. One specifically for you, Professor.”

Byleth shrugged. “As long as you will still call me Professor, it makes no difference to me whether I have some kind of title or not.”

“Though everyone calls you Professor, don’t they?” 

Again, the unreasonable feeling arose. Again, it threatened to make Byleth say most irrational things. “I would assume so,” he simply stated instead. 

What else would Dimitri want to call him? He wouldn’t mind his name. Or… well, he couldn’t come up with any other options, really. 

“Of course,” he chuckled, “It was- I… was simply thinking about silly things.” 

He got to his feet, and for a moment, he simply stood there, his gaze fixed on Byleth. “Professor, please know that it would make me truly happy if you chose me once more. I…” His fingers tightened around the backrest of the chair and Byleth hoped it was simply his tired mind that imagined Dimitri’s grip left dents in the wood. 

“I need you. I had not realized how much I relied on you ever since we first met. Relied on you and… burdened you. And yet, you still never gave me up. I meant it when I told you that you were my ray of light. So please, consider it. Consider staying in Fhirdiad after the war. With me.”

Byleth smiled. “If I would not know it better, then your suggestion sounds more like a proposal.”

He expected many things, mostly the soft huffs from before in complete and utter despair. He understood why Sylvain had teased Dimitri when they were younger and it was a pleasure more than it was guilt. Perhaps he could have settled for an amused chuckle about this clever analogy and a rebuttal of the mere thought. 

Instead, he did hear the wooden backrest crack beneath the pressure of Dimitri’s fingers and caught an expression so open that he made a note to warn the future king of ever showing it to anyone else. 

“I am well aware that I am undeserving of someone like you. Or...anyone for that matter, truly. I don’t deserve to be loved. And in my mind, I made peace with that. I thought I had. ...Until I saw you again and realized you were no ghost of mine. It… was just a mere suggestion, though. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I cannot agree to a proposal that has never been made,” Byleth said. “Just as you would not be able to answer a question I never asked.”

Surprise replaced the pain in Dimitri’s face. “What?”

“I am saying that I can only give you an answer if you ask me. Did you stop listening again? I cannot imagine you liked the detention I gave you.”

“Not… in particular, no. Working with Felix was straining,” Dimitri admitted. “That aside though, I.... am not certain you-”

“Ask me, and I will give you my answer.”

Dimitri fidgeted. “Profess- No, um. That is not the right way to start. Byleth.”

There it was again. That unreasonable feeling. Only this time it truly did overwhelm him. It shook his body, his very core, and it left him quiet. His fingers curled against the leather of his diary, the ring his father had given him safely tucked at the back of it. 

The memory of his words was oddly fresh each time Byleth thought of the small piece of jewelry, the weight of it still resting in his palms as his father told him to give it to someone he loved quite as much as he had loved his wife. 

"The truth is that I came here with the intention of compiling those reports to pin a letter for you at the back because I knew you would be certain to read it in a quiet moment like this," Dimitri said. "I wanted to give you time to properly consider my words and my intentions even if someone like you has certainly a much brighter future ahead at someone else's side than mine."

He paused, regarding the chair for a moment before letting go of it, fingers flexing nervously. "Though I have returned to my senses, it does not change the fact that… I am a broken man. Felix has never once been wrong to call me a beast, and I was well aware. I am afraid that one day, it will happen again. I can still hear their voices even if they have quieted down, even if their words have become kinder. I still have nightmares that make me fear falling asleep. I still have moments where I forget what I am doing or where I am like I am not myself in that moment. Perhaps it will get easier to live with it but… what if it gets worse? What if the beast wins?"

"Then I will be there," Byleth replied. It was as simple as that. "I swore I would. And I do not betray my oaths."

Dimitri's lips parted but he said nothing. His gaze fell to his palms quietly. "I knew you would say that, Pr- Byleth. I feared that would be your answer."

"Feared?"

"Obligations bind you to me, and I know you would never betray them. You are not the kind of person to do so."

Byleth sighed. Now that had been understood quite badly, hadn't it? He rose from his chair and closed the distance between Dimitri and himself in one step, diary in hands. "I must say I am disappointed that you would assume I have no agency of my own whatsoever. For the record, I believe I can betray any kind of obligation because I am the goddess. Mortal obligations mean nothing to me. I hold true to my promises, to my father, to Rodrigue, to all of the Lions who asked me to stay by your side, but they do not bind me. It was an oath from me to myself and it is godly obligations you would not want to break. A king you may be, Dimitri, but I am a goddess."

"Somehow, you always find a counter to my words," the prince said, almost sheepishly. "And they are always exceedingly crushing ones that give me no way of arguing against them."

"You simply fail to convince me. Alas, we never did study debating but I highly advise you to practice it. As your future advisor."

"You…" Dimitri breathed. "Do you mean it?" 

"That I do. But you still have not yet asked me. You said many a thing about yourself but you have not yet made your proposal."

Dimitri lowered his gaze, his fingers laced together in front of him. "You are a force of nature, Byleth."

"I am not going to play the holy card again even though I am rather tempted," Byleth admitted. "Ask me."

Dimitri cleared his throat. He uncurled his fingers slowly but he didn't reach out. He didn't dare to. Only then, Byleth noticed that his hands were shaking, that he had tried to hide it before. He did the only sensible thing he could think of. 

He held his hand out to Dimitri. 

Without a word, the prince grasped it, careful not to squeeze too tightly. 

“I have a feeling this is a recurring scene between the two of us,” Dimitri chuckled. “You, reaching out to me, I mean.”

“So did you.” Byleth slipped his fingers between Dimitri’s slowly. “Whenever I needed you.”

“Byleth, I- I feel very out of my depth. It does not make it easier that calling you by your name is hard getting used to.”

“You will live, Your Majesty,” Byleth grinned, brushing his thumb over Dimitri’s knuckles slowly. There were two scars, one smaller like a cut, the other bigger dragging along the back of his hand. Left by an arrow perhaps? Maybe he would ask, eventually. “I am right here, and I am listening.” 

“You always are,” Dimitri said. “And I hope you will always be so… Byleth, I… wanted to ask you if you could consider spending your life with me.”

“If you want to ask me, then go ahead.”

“Why do you have to be so pedantic now, of all times, Professor?”

Byleth laughed. “If you want to spend your life with me, I expect you to get used to this. You said you wanted to ask me. So do it, then. Ask me.” 

Dimitri grumbled, squeezing Byleth’s fingers tightly enough to make them ache. He didn’t underestimate the prince’s strength at any time and still, at times it could be baffling when he did not look like he even broke a sweat exerting so much force. “Alright. You… you are right.” 

He inhaled. 

He exhaled. 

Then, he leant his forehead against Byleth’s, barely a touch at all, his expression showing that he could not bare the feeling of it all - this unreasonable one that perhaps vexed Dimitri the same way as it vexed Byleth. Because it only grew, it never faded, and it only turned them more foolish. 

“Byleth,” Dimitri whispered, his proximity wondrous and overwhelming at once, “Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with me?”

“I very much could,” Byleth replied with a smile. The prince regarded him with confusion at first before his face lit up, his smile spreading from ear to ear. 

He truly was brighter than the sun. He had always been. The times of darkness, they were nothing more but an eclipse. A temporary shade, and no matter the marks it had left on Dimitri throughout the time they were apart, Byleth would stay by his side. 

“I want you to have this,” Byleth said, pressing his diary against Dimitri’s chest. He curled his fingers around it and looked at it curiously. 

“You always carry this with you.” Dimitri raised his gaze to meet Byleth’s, cheeks flushed red. “You entrust this to me?”

“I do. It is almost filled entirely so I need a new one in the first place.”

“But why would you give this to me, then? You keep it because you fear for your memories, don’t you?”

“I do. But this one is… I figure I will not need it much if I am with you. I used to have them to remember my schedules and note down things to remember about my students. I do still have one like that but this one, well.” Byleth sighed. “It is different. It is not memories per se but mostly messages. To you. Every time I would think of something I wanted to tell you or ask you, I would write it down so I could remember to do so once you would speak to me again. I admit, it is a little silly but it helped. It is not only wisdom if you believe so. I also wrote down old jokes Father used to tell me. I thought you might appreciate those. Alois said you find him hilarious so they will be very much to your liking, I promise.”

Dimitri grimaced. “Why did he tell you that?”

“Because he is Alois. He does not have much of an audience. Really, it is just you so of course he would boast about it.”

That didn’t seem to ease Dimitri’s mind of the embarrassing revelation that he laughed about truly terrible jokes and yet, he relaxed as he cradled the diary against his chest. “I will cherish it, Pro- Agh, Byleth. This will take time to get used to.” 

“Worry not. We have quite enough of that from now on.” 

When Dimitri kissed him, without warning, without fear, all Byleth could do was exhale. He curled his fingers tighter around the prince’s, and for the first time, he didn’t fear to forget this moment. 

He knew he never would.

**Author's Note:**

> i still think we were robbed of s support for dimitri (and claude, that is an even bigger crime but let's leave it at that for now). he canonically says he loves seeing you smile, he calls you a ray of light in the darkness, he entrusts you with his whole heart and relies on you and they tell me byleth can only marry him if it's fyleth? that's why i felt like i wanted something like this even if it is not entirely accurate with canon
> 
> i also like the idea of byleth who seemed emotionless but throughout all, he was not, he only learnt to shut all emotion away from him to the point that he has super big holes in his memory. man i don't know but come talk to me on twitter [@tobiyou](https://twitter.com/tobiyou) if you want to hear more of my wailing


End file.
